I’m In Twitter Jail

I want to begin this by saying I’m just an idiot. No other way to spin it. This Saturday I was having a regular COVID weekend – hanging out by myself and getting ready to watch a movie. Before I started though, I was scrolling through my twitter account (@jacklesser_) and noticed that my birthday for my personal account was not my actual birthday.

I was born on September 10, 1998. My profile said my birth year was 1997. I thought that was strange so I decided to change it. Apparently that is illegal. In a matter of seconds I was locked out of my 9 year old account and I had to scramble to figure out what was going on.

Like getting caught in a sting operation I was put immediately behind virtual bars.

From what I can understand, this is because back when I created my personal twitter in 2011, I was not technically old enough to create an account by twitter’s standards. I needed to be 13 years old and I was 12 so they let me just tack on a year to my life with no questions asked. I’m sure I’m not the only person in the history of social media to fabricate my age in order to gain access to a website.

But, now that I am almost 22 years old I had no idea twitter would be able to retroactively throw me in the clink because of something I did 9 years ago. Shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on these things?

I’m currently in purgatory and waiting to be arraigned through the appeal process. I’m honestly not confident that this will get overturned.

This is like getting kicked out of a bar when you are of age and using your real ID. The problem is I told the bouncer that I had used a fake to get into this same bar 9 years prior. I guess that is grounds for getting arrested for underage consumption of social media. SMH.

Also, for the record, I’m not even mad because I had worked up some huge following on my personal account. I really don’t care about that. I believe I had around 300 followers; that’s nothing special. I’m much more interested in gaining a following to the ThoughtLess account.

But, I’m upset because the people and lists that I was following on my personal account was very tailored to my interests. That account was an extension of my everyday thoughts and now it’s just rotting away in the cloud of twitter jail. Who would’ve thought that changing my birth year would leave my queen wide open for check mate. I hope I can get it back.

This isn’t a conspiracy that big tech is out to get me either, twitter just has a really stupid rule that I had no idea could come back to kill me almost a decade later. I will do my very best to get in contact with someone to try and get to an understanding, but I don’t have much confidence in this plans’ success. I can only hope.

As I wait the results of my initial appeal, I currently am only operating with 1 account. Follow me @thoughtless44 where I will work to build up as big of an audience as I can. If I am unsuccessful in getting my old account back I will then decide whether to make ThoughtLess my personal and business account, or I will open up a new account all together. I will keep you guys updated.

I have jokes about me being in twitter jail but some rioters and looters stole it and are still walking free. Maybe if we defund the twitter police, I’ll be let go. So now I’m working to un-cancel myself like Ellen. Also, an account of my age is a COVID risk so it should be released from prison, but if all else fails I’ll campaign for a Presidential commutation.

Cheers, and wish me luck.


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